So there I was, tucked into a couch with two other women, drinking homemade ginger-infused-vodka-on-the-rocks, and talking about penguins, nuns, and anal sex.
We were celebrating the birthday of an adored friend. Living in Connecticut, it required a bit of exertion, and about an hour and forty five minutes to get to his party in downtown Manhattan. The me of two years ago would have probably been daunted, and either entirely declined the invitation, or worse--accepted, and then bailed on him at the last minute.
I'm not proud to say that I have not always showed up for people. I came to the game of not bailing late in life. It's probably not all that surprising because I have only recently--in the past few years--started to learn how to more consistently show up for myself. I like the me who shows up a lot better than the me who doesn't.
It feels good to show up for those who matter to me, and fantastic to show up for myself. Reliability is sexy. It matters.
2011 has served up some of the busiest days of my life. I love my job(s), and am working like a maniac. I'm alternately excited, exhilarated, scared, and stressed about my life. I'm often embarrasingly, and inexplicably, weepy. Oddly, I'm probably also the happiest I have ever been.
I attribute that happiness, at least in part, to learning how to show up. As a result, I trust myself more than ever before.
Showing up for myself might mean:
- Sitting down to do the work I said I would do, even when I don't feel like it
- Investing in the relationships that are important to me
- Reevaluating relationships with people who don't show up for me
- Closing the computer and going for a walk, a run, or getting on my sticky mat
- Taking the time to prepare something green and nutritious to eat, instead of reaching for whatever's fast
- Doing something scary
- Investing in my craft by creating time to read an actual book
Every time I sit down on my yoga mat, and close my eyes, I show up for myself. Every time I consciously envision what I want, make a commitment to myself, and keep it, I show up for myself. Everytime I keep my word, I show up for myself. (Thank you, Handel Group™.) Every time I show up for someone I love, I am also showing up for myself, too. Showing up makes all the difference in the world.
I'm glad I'm finally learning how to do it. Better late than never.
Do you trust yourself to show up for yourself? What does that look like for you? Leave a comment and let me know.