Now With Vicodin

The best thing about incapacitating back pain is lying on the floor without another single concern.

I am not doing the laundry that needs doing.

I am not attempting to pull off an arm balance, no matter what the picture below may suggest.

I'm not trying to rally to practice, or go for a run, or figure out what's for dinner, or do any of the other million things that clamor to be done on a daily basis.  

I'm just lying here.

The regular demands on my time are likely still clamoring, distantly, but pain has muffled them to the point of inaudibility.  

Pain is like that.

I don't actually mind so much.  I think it's kind of fascinating, the power that this particular sensation has to focus my attention.

Also, I have taken a Vicodin.  

(I'm quirky, not stupid.)

I could tell my back was on the verge of going out.  It was twingy.  Then I slept funny. I did some thoughtful strategic practice, hoping the movement would help but it didn't.

So here I am on the floor.

It's not actually all that much of a big deal.  It's happened before, so I know that within a few days I'll feel better.  I have a bendy, mobile body and too much mobility creates instability, so sometimes my sacrum goes out, in spite of the fact that my alignment is pretty good and I'm stronger than I used to be.

Good alignment feels good, and deepens a practice and can prevent a lot of injuries. I would go so far as to say it prevents most injuries.  That can create a false sense of control.  Nothing controls everything, not even good alignment.  

Sometimes even yoga teachers get injured.

It reminds me that most of the time, my complex body works well enough, if not perfectly.  This will hurt for a few days and then I'll feel better.  Some people live with pain that doesn't subside.  It's hard to imagine what that would be like.

I have a secret suspicion that most yoga teaches don't like to admit when we're injured.  It's as though it's a personal and professional failure.  Maybe we think it's bad for business, or something.  I don't know. 

It's kind of silly when you think about it, right?

 

Comments

[emma]

the whole "control" issue is a potent one for Anusara yogis, I think. I often think about and teach about John saying, "ultimately, we're not in charge".

[lara demberg]

are you wearing the super hero boots while in pain? This, my dear, is why I love you.

[Erica Furman]

"We plan and God Laughs..." Being human means living in a body and bodies get injured, wear out, get tired, etc. Yoga teachers are human.

Feel better soon!

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